This 'n That

It's three o'clock in the morning, and I awoke in a terrible sweat and feeling feverish. My mind was buzzing with all the homework I still had to do, so I just got up and headed downstairs, for my plan was to take a shower to wake me up and then dive into my essay.

But that didn't happen...I just feel so sick. But no staying home for me today--I have been absent too much, thanks to my back problem keeping me out of school nearly all of last week. I feel sick because of the things I ate yesterday night at Hali's study group get-together thing, which were good right at the time but then plagued me in my sleep. It's amazing how my eating habits have changed and how my body can seem to no longer tolerate next-to-no sugar, junk food, and certain drinks. Even now I feel sick for drinking Diet Pepsi last night, too. I am more use to Diet Dr. Thunder and Diet Coke.

But I really need to stay away from it...it may be good at the time, but I regret it later. *hugs her water bottle close* When I get on the computer, I always have a cup with pop in it. So I am trying my best to substitute that cup with water. However, when mom offers me that Diet Dr. Thunder, I don't refuse, 'cause I love it lol!


Random stuff...I just feel so weird right now, yes yes.


In Weights yesterday (and this makes me feel kind of mad ^^') I was parallel squatting 55 pounds (couldn't do much with my whole collar bone/shoulder thing). I went down just fine, but when I was coming back up from the squat, my legs just kind of gave out on me. My spotters weren't even paying attention, except for the one behind me, but she couldn't do much to help the weight on my shoulders. But thank goodness for reflexives! I was able to dart out my left hand and grab the safety bar and catch myself.

What if that had been a weight I could barely stand to have on my shoulders, say...65-70 or so? It would have been a different story. I get ignored a lot in that class, which is both a blessing and a bad thing. *sigh*


School has been interesting, and I have made better friends with my classmates, in particular Larsen. She was one of the very few who noticed my absence all last week (along with James and Mike) and she even gave me some encouragement to hang in there and get better. We could never be the kind of friends who hang out at each other's houses--we are VERY different in MANY aspects, but yet at school we can talk and laugh and help each other out.


Hmm, what else to get off of my mind. . .

Things at home have been plummeting to an all-time low, but I'm still standing. Some how I still manage a smile at school and give the appearance of that one girl who joins in on the laughing, observes, and then goes out of her way to talk to different people. Once in a while I can feel very 'down' when I get to school, for home life -can- have a rather huge impact. I really do not like hiding my emotions all that much, it hurts me more than helps, you know? But now that Tawn-Tawn has moved, I don't have any one personally here to really confide in. She always knew exactly what to say, how to say it, and come up with ways to make it better. And I did that for her as well. I REALLY miss her, and I wish I could see her sooner than just in the spring.


On that note, things went from negative to more and more positive to going to college with her. Turns out that, even if I do not have a couple of the required classes for UofI, I could always take them there. Plus, there is also a two year college in the same area. So there is that as well! I'm excited, and I am beginning to dive into scholarships. My older brother has become an odd model--I want to do better than he did, get better grades than he did, and just do better than him in general, because I don't want to end up like him. *raises fist in victory* We were talking about that the other night (yet another night here I had troubles getting to sleep)and he admitted I was right to think/do better than he. Which is a first.


That is all for now...phew, I feel a bit better! That's a long entry, thank goodness it is not on deviantART!

Back Aches and Stress Takes OH MY!

...Don't worry about the title xD! It's 11:40 PM, and my unleashed energy is finally beginning to melt down and let weariness take over.

Finally, I got in to see a chiropractor! It wasn't bad, it actually felt good to get my spine back in place along with my neck and, temporarily, my jaw. But when it came to the old right collar bone and shoulder problem...ooooh boy. He (the chiropractor) was kind of baffled at the difficulties it was giving him.

Long story short, it was painful, but I dealt with it. And it feels better! But we'll see what happens in the morning, for that is when it hurts the most.

I'm so glad I got in...mom finally got an appointment set up after I missed three days of school. But when I came home, walking tall and straight again and almost teeming with long-pent energy, she said it was worth the $57. I go back Wednesday for a checkup, to see how I am doing and such. If my shoulder doesn't get better (oh it had -better-) then I'll probably have to get an X-ray.

Well, I got a TON of work to catch up at school now. And that is not an exaggeration in the slightest.


So, I'm taking away computer time until I am as caught up as I can get. And I need to get into my relaxing 'rituals' again, he said there was such a tensed part of my back that I needed to lay loose for a while. So I shall work on that ^^! Things have been so tensing around the house, I can begin to see why it has been that way.

Well, that's all for now! Later!

Recent Birthday Happenings

I'm going to make this as short as possible...I don't know why, but I don't want to really talk about it and go into detail. It was fun and all, but yes. *shrug*

First, I got out of school early....gneh. Basically, we did a ton of shopping here and there for Halloween stuff and some birthday stuff for me. I got some new face wash, upper-lip hair remover (which worked very well--my upper lip is still a bit numb though), make up that would blend more than make a contrast, and other things...and I also did a bit of shopping for Hali's birthday.

Oh yeah! Hali gave me the LONGEST birthday card I have ever gotten, she made it herself out of printed pictures from my dA account with a bunch of birthday quotes on it. What was it, Hali, four feet long? Flippin'...it was awesome xD! *hugs Hali* And then she got me two disposable cameras and a Scrap Book Kit! *happy dance*

Then I got a couple of drawings from people on dA, like from the awesome Mel and AngieChild! And Mahotou made me customized brushes! Strawberry-Shake from dA actually sent me my presents! A couple of her printed photos on awesome paper, a drawing I wish to turn into a short story, a necklace that had WINGS *woot!* and a personally-decorated sketch book 8'D! That just made my whole day!

Hali's mom and little sister got me balloons tied to a little Diet Coke bottle and to a very soft, little creamy-colored puppy--I named him Jacen. *squeal*

My little brother gave me a muffin, and my older brother...nothing. xD! That is perfectly okay--I don't mind at all. If he did, it may have had been a game, and I'm not into that hardly at all anymore.

Mostly, mom was at my bidding of driving me around to take pictures. I had a good time, I really did.

Five more pounds to lose (or less, I haven't had the chance to check for a week) before mom has to take me clothes shopping! WOO! I hope that is soon...the majority of my clothes don't fit any more. D:!

That is all, for now. ^^ Until I write again <3!

~Megs

Father...?

I held my breath as Twon started asking information about our father, the man we had not seen or heard from since we were toddlers. I carefully studied mom's expression as she talked, but her content manner did not change. Usually, Twon and I did not inquire anything about our biological father, as we did not know how mom would react. But Twon needed the information now, for he was filling out his mission papers. We were having a hard time, for we did not know what his phone number was and such.

I suggested that he may still be living in Idaho, at Weiser. So Twon looked up his full name at IAF.net...and sure enough, there he was. It looked as though he had finally moved out of his father's house, but he was still in the same town. And depending on how 'quick' dad had been after his and mom's divorce, I may have step sisters and brothers perhaps two or three years younger than me.


I don't know...it's just really, really odd to think about. Mom said, a long time ago, that we had the option to go see him. I have a faint curiosity, but I don't know if I would do it. What would I think and feel if I saw myself suddenly facing a new brother and/or sister? How would my dad react to him seeing me, after so many years?

It's just odd, and puzzling. I almost wish I had not been in the computer room when Twon was filling out his online papers. But things happen for a reason, so this is something I will be pondering.